someone's been looking in old boxes!

someone's been looking in old boxes!

Image by candrews
and found an old tee of mine...

i asked for a picture before i made her take it off.

i'm not a meanie, she changed into an equally as old Jesus Lizard shirt. it's just that this shirt was special. and it puts new meaning to the word threadbare.

we are hoping to get out of the house next week, we are both a little stir crazy. but we have been having photoshop classes everyday and i've learned more about manga and anime than i ever wanted to know! ha!

oh the pose? it's her line up pose, i like how serious she is trying to look.

sky day 215

Image by maureen_sill
remember, self
you are capable of being a good person
you are capable of being a good person
you are also capable of being a person who is not always good
so watch it, self

a lot of my favorite people seem to spend a lot of time feeling as if they are very stupid
i have been told that i look like a cartoon character
sometimes i think that when i look at someone's neck it means almost the same thing to me as if i were trusted to see them naked
as if it were as personal a thing to me

an inner monologue that is twenty three pages long
made it's way into my journal two days ago and since then i have worked 20 hours
i am glad that i was able to get it out before i numbed my braincells for seven dollars an hour

on a bike ride today i felt that satisfying burn in my legs, when you pedal fast
when i was racing to the field to try to get there before the sun had actually set
route 83, you are the only place i can really be alone
the couple of times i went without a camera
are oddly the most memorable

i have been thinking a lot about what kate said on the phone about
how things and circumstances are forever changed because of the fact of the existence of the camera, forever changing what happened, forever changing what actually happened
i think about her standing next to the berlin wall in a beautiful city with a lot of people standing around, everyone posing for a picture
i imagine japanese tourists holding maps, tiny pink digital cameras
their bodies probably in coats, their little arms probably holding their backpacks or purses
i imagined her standing there with others
probably not knowing whether or not they should smile
because of what the berlin wall used to mean, obviously
and it didn't make sense to her
and she is right, it doesn't make much sense
and then i think about the pictures my parents took of me when i was a baby
before i knew what a picture was and before i knew what it meant to want to try to take pictures of something because you loved it, you loved it in an obnoxious or a whispering way, either way it was something you felt
was worth documenting or attributing to your image, if you're the sort

or wanting to take pictures of something because you wanted to understand it
i want to understand things more than i want anything else
which explains my fascination with the "cruelty of abstraction"
and the fact that it is impossible to understand anything
and then
i looked at pictures of myself as a baby, sitting in the dirt, my hands in the dirt
naked in the dirt
that photo was brown, and whatever color my skin is, and bright orange, my hair against the dirt
and the blue sky
my legs are buried in the dirt
and then i looked at the photograph which i have taped next to my bed of my dead grandfather at dachau concentration camp, he is holding a folder with some papers in it, i assume
it is one of six photos i have ever seen of him
and i know photos are fake and they are not real and they don't help me understand things as much as i'd like to think that they do but then when i look at the picture of him standing in front of the gates to that place where his friends and two members of his family were murdered (according to my grandmother, who is perhaps not always as much of a reliable resource as i would hope, but for the sake of something, i will try to believe her) and so
i look at that picture and i don't know
because of it i know what his face looked like and i know a little about what was important to him or how he decided to cope with things that were probably hard for him
because of the fact that he actually went to this place
where people he cared about were murdered
and i feel like i could maybe try to understand why he did that
and why he went alone
and why he took a camera
and i will never know if i am like him or not
but when i look at that picture i feel like i might be like him
i never met him and i never will meet him because of what he did to himself
but looking at that photo makes me miss him

Smile Jäger!

Image by TangoPango
While I bathed Jäger in an attempt to soothe an itchy bumpy rash on his back, we took a moment to pose for a picture.

Andrea used to get a bath in my mom's kitchen sink. I decided that this baby of mine could also get a bath in the sink.

He was 16-weeks old on Thursay the 29th. When I took him to the vet today, because of the rash, he weighed a whopping 64-1/2 pounds! Mike had weighed him about a month ago. He's gained about 20-pounds this month!
Better him than me!

FPG+HHreceipts

Image by Federal Land
After Halifax's film co-op commissioned Helen to make a film, she needed to send them the receipts from her production. However, the baby got his hands on them, tore them up, and I believe even took a bite out of some of the receipts. Helen posed for this picture (alongside the cute culprit) to demonstrate the state of her financial records.

P.S. more articles about Helen are now here:
www.thecoast.ca

Colstrip, MT, 45 Years Ago, First Teaching Job

Image by Welfl
Colstrip High School, Colstrip, Montana, Early 1965

Ivan Welfl (English I, Librarian & PE) poses for a picture in the library. This was his first teaching job, for which he had been hired in January 1965, to fill a temporary vacancy. He had graduated from Southern State College in Springfield, SD, in December 1964.

This job lasted only one semester because he was filling in for a teacher who had to take a leave of absence, possibly to have a baby.

[Photo scanned from the 1965 Colstrip High School "Coaldust" Annual]